SFP Skill Training to become a Nurturing, Loving Parent:
- Engage in regular Bonding activities with each child, including:
playing one-on-one play time with each child; create happy family rituals & fun traditions
- Look for and complimenting the good daily in children. Avoid criticism.
- Use respectful family communication skills including L.U.V. Listening (Listen, Understand, Validate), respectful I-Messages (“I feel, I think, I need”); be assertive instead of aggressive; and avoid “Communication Boulders” – words and voice tones that harm family relationships.
- Make clear family rules, including “No youth alcohol or drugs use.”
- Set up a rewards system to teach & reinforce the good behavior
- Use consistent Positive Discipline – not lax nor harsh – with short, mild consequences and Positive Practice to teach the behaviors you want.
- Use good anger management and stress reducing skills
- Help kids make life goals & train them in prosocial skills
- Create order by setting up positive family routines
- Monitor teens & children’s activities & be involved parents
Youth Life-skill training to Increase Competence & Self-Esteem:
- Problem solving
- Goal setting. having a vision for life; recognizing their power to do good
- Peer Resistance: able to say no to anti-social behavior, incl. use of alcohol or drugs
- Managing stress; calming their anger responses
- Identifying feelings; receiving criticism calmly
- Planning, managing time, doing well in school
- All these skills increase a child’s core self-esteem
Training a parent helps younger children avoid problems as well:
Lack of a nurturing parent can program increased cortisol stress reactions in children’s brains, resulting in: Less exploratory behaviors, Reduced cognitive development, Less oxytocin binding even in later generations. (Champagne & Meaney, 2007; Champagne, 2010)
“From the early childhood through the early adult years, synapse formations and neural refinement are responsive to stimulation and deprivation. Thus preventive interventions can enlist parents…to provide nurturing care for the child [to affect child’s brain development].
In the adult years, brain plasticity continues, which allows for changes in self-regulation…. A constant interplay of genetics and a person’s environment governs mental disorders.”
Offering time for parents to practice new skills with their children during parent training sessions is consistently associated with greater effectiveness of parent education programs.” (CDC 2009)